Joakim Soria wants your help finding a new nickname
From the beginning, the nickname stood on shaky ground. Vague references to death, especially murder, tend to be that way. But Joakim Soria said he didn’t mind the name, kind of liked it, even, and so it became that he was sometimes called the Mexicutioner.
As I type this, I’m trying to remember exactly how it began. Please correct me in the comments, but I think it started on a blog (Royals Review, maybe?)* and then became unofficially official when Dutton dropped it in the paper. T-shirts were made. Most everybody was on board.
* Thanks to reader Bart Parry, who points out the nickname most likely got started in the comments under this post by Rany Jazayerli a few years ago.
Soria took to the Twitter machine this morning with a plea to stop the nickname:
how about if we change my nickname to something positive? in support to mexico to stop all the violence !!!
It’s telling that even now, or at least at the time of this writing, Soria had the “MEXICUTIONER” nickname on his Twitter page, in the colors of the Mexican flag. I can’t imagine that’ll last past today, and we all understand why.
There are disgusting execution-style murders going on in Soria’s home country of Mexico. This is obviously personal for him. His family still lives there. We’re all proud of where we come from, at least to a varying degrees, but Soria is especially so. Always has been.
The hard part isn’t dropping the nickname. That’s done, no problem. Even without this plea, any use of the old nickname would’ve felt awful and wrong.
The hard part is coming up with a new one.
I’m against sports nicknames as a general rule, but only because they almost always come off forced and silly, so your homework assignment today is a difficult one:
Find Joakim Soria, perhaps the game’s best closer, a new nickname.
It must be simple and catchy and fitting, something good for him but that wouldn’t work for, say, Jonathan Papelbon.
Let’s see what we can come up with.
I will readily admit right now that I am awful with these types of things. The first thought I had, and I probably shouldn’t admit this, was “Warm Milk” because he puts opponents to sleep*.
* Honestly. How terrible is that? I hope my boss doesn’t read this. Please don’t send this to him.
Anyway, this is where you, the brilliant, insightful, funny and brilliant patron of this blog come in.
Help us out.