Joakim Soria wants your help finding a new nickname
None
From the beginning, the nickname stood on shaky ground. Vague references to death, especially murder, tend to be that way. But Joakim Soria said he didn’t mind the name, kind of liked it, even, and so it became that he was sometimes called the Mexicutioner.
As I type this, I’m trying to remember exactly how it began. Please correct me in the comments, but I think it started on a blog (Royals Review, maybe?)* and then became unofficially official when Dutton dropped it in the paper. T-shirts were made. Most everybody was on board.
* Thanks to reader Bart Parry, who points out the nickname most likely got started in the comments under this post by Rany Jazayerli a few years ago.
Until now.
Soria took to the Twitter machine this morning with a plea to stop the nickname:
how about if we change my nickname to something positive? in support to mexico to stop all the violence !!!
It’s telling that even now, or at least at the time of this writing, Soria had the “MEXICUTIONER” nickname on his Twitter page, in the colors of the Mexican flag. I can’t imagine that’ll last past today, and we all understand why.
There are disgusting execution-style murders going on in Soria’s home country of Mexico. This is obviously personal for him. His family still lives there. We’re all proud of where we come from, at least to a varying degrees, but Soria is especially so. Always has been.
The hard part isn’t dropping the nickname. That’s done, no problem. Even without this plea, any use of the old nickname would’ve felt awful and wrong.
The hard part is coming up with a new one.
I’m against sports nicknames as a general rule, but only because they almost always come off forced and silly, so your homework assignment today is a difficult one:
Find Joakim Soria, perhaps the game’s best closer, a new nickname.
It must be simple and catchy and fitting, something good for him but that wouldn’t work for, say, Jonathan Papelbon.
Let’s see what we can come up with.
I will readily admit right now that I am awful with these types of things. The first thought I had, and I probably shouldn’t admit this, was “Warm Milk” because he puts opponents to sleep*.
* Honestly. How terrible is that? I hope my boss doesn’t read this. Please don’t send this to him.
Anyway, this is where you, the brilliant, insightful, funny and brilliant patron of this blog come in.
Help us out.
Blake Thompson
2 years, 2 months agoCould always stick with Jack
Andy Hinkhouse
2 years, 2 months agoCaptain Jack
Anonymous
Kansas City
2 years, 2 months agoJack Attack or The Jackhammer
Dave Feit
2 years, 2 months agoIf you’re going to use the “puts opponents to sleep” angle, you’d want to use “Snoria”*
*Please don’t send that to my boss either.
Jeffrey Leslie
2 years, 2 months ago“El Bombero” The Fireman, an admirable profession and it keeps with long standing baseball tradition.
Dan Welch
2 years, 2 months agoI can’t come up with a nickname out of this but maybe someone can…His whole name, if you think about it, sounds like two people in a conversation about his pitching…”Wak him? Sorry…I…A… Struck him out”
Chris Flenker
2 years, 2 months agoI vote against Jack for its association with home runs.
what about alacrán (scorpion)
Steve Carlson
2 years, 2 months agoEl Toro !!
Mark Haskins
2 years, 2 months agoEl final
Blair Bieser
2 years, 2 months agoHow about El Águila? It means “The Eagle” in Spanish. The eagle is on the Mexican flag, and El Águila is also the name of a comic book hero who fights drug dealers and criminals who prey on the poor and needy.
Jordan H
2 years, 2 months agoKing Joakim, Monclova Monster, J-Smooth, Senor Jack, The Jackal, El Leon, El Tiburon…
brian garvin
2 years, 2 months agoHow about EL PERFECTO which is free from sin,
Ryan Gavin
2 years, 2 months agoWhat about Joakim the Dream?
Mark Peavy
2 years, 2 months agoWell, I’m glad (and pleasantly surprised) to see no one is asking that “Mexicutioner” be retained. But, if we’re embarrassed to use the violent-sounding “Mexicutioner,” then why do we still tolerate “Border War” (and ridicule people for raising the question)? A football or basketball game is not a “war.” A “war” is what is happening in Iraq, Afghanistan, some parts of Mexico, and some neighborhoods near mine in Kansas City.
No reasonable person is going to accuse Soria of merely being politically correct for changing his nickname. And, KU and MU quit using “Border War” several years ago. The Star and the fans need to catch up with Soria, KU, and MU.
Greg A
2 years, 2 months agoel Diablo
Ben H
2 years, 2 months ago“El Bombero” meaning “The Fireman” in Spanish… it just sounds cool.
Blair Bieser
2 years, 2 months ago“Firemen” like Sparky Lyle, Goose Gossage, Dan Quisenberry, etc., usually came in with men on base and the game on the line. Soria usually comes in in the 9th with nobody on and a lead. “Cerrar” means “to close”, so maybe Soria can be “El Cerrador”.
The Rambler
2 years, 2 months agoI can’t remember where I saw it, but someone came up with “His Mexcellence”
Patrick Horton
2 years, 2 months agoWell, he did want to be a dentist. So el dentiste. Not that that has anything whatsoever to do with baseball.
Mike Twain
2 years, 2 months agoJoakim seems like a nice man, and a “KC Hero”. Maybe thats what we should start calling him, a Hero, like all good men and women, not just baseball skills, but for quality of personality. You could use various Hero songs. Maybe the Royals could do the same and lower all prices to fill the stadium, and support a team that will have a payroll of $30M vs. $250M of Yankees and Red Sox
Chris Byers
2 years, 2 months agoHow about “Senor Ice”..or Senor Frio! (I think that’s the spanish word for cold, or icy….it’s been a while since college)…or Senor Shut’em Down….or El Fuego!! —but I like “His Mexcellance” too.
Susan Dyke
2 years, 2 months agoHow about “Joakim on Sunshine”? That’s my nickname for him. That also gives him a built-in theme song (“Walking on Sunshine”). Not very tough, though. :) Well, “His Mexcellance” is pretty good.
Christy Passantino
2 years, 2 months agoHis Mexcellency works for me (I like this better than His Mexcellence).
Christy Passantino
2 years, 2 months agoAnd I saw somebody suggest Joakiminator, which I thought wasn’t too bad. (We could even spell it WAHKEEMINATOR!)
Tim Tankard
2 years, 2 months agoHow about we call the man “Buenas Noches”? It means Good Night.
I can see Bob Dutton writing up something like this: “And in came Buenos Noches in the ninth, to put the visiting boys to bed.”
If not that, I do kind of like “El Bombero”. That can work. Or even “El Final”.
Buenas Noches.