Sam Mellinger

The Kansas City Star

I’ve always been honest enough with you guys that you probably know I can be quite the airhead. I often put the cottage cheese in the cupboard instead of the fridge. Finding my car key can be a 10-minute adventure. I’ve showed up at hotels with reservations that don’t start for another week. Last year, I packed my suitcase for spring training and left it in the car at the airport.

So, here’s what I’m asking. Take a look at the picture here. This blog is coming to you from a Panera, where I ordered a coffee and water and stood in front of the soda machine like a doofus for a minute or two before a really nice woman here said, “It’s the blue one.”

I thanked her, called myself an idiot, and she said, “At least seven of 10 customers miss it.”

I told her I appreciated her lie, and she insisted she was telling the truth.

So, my question for you guys: she’s lying to make me feel better, right? I mean, seems pretty obvious.

Anyway, this week’s reading recommendation is Little America by Washington Post correspondent Rajiv Chandrasekaran. The reporting in this is amazingly thorough, producing the most comprehensive look at the war I’ve seen and a pretty damn good case about what’s gone wrong there. Bureaucracies, man. This week’s eating recommendation is the french silk pie by Tippin’s, available in fine grocery stores everywhere.

As always, thanks for your help with this and let’s get to it.

@RoyalsFreeOut The events of the past week raise certain questions regarding this alleged “smokeshow wife” you’re always referring to. #TT

Well, that’s because none of you ever asked if we’ve actually met.

@GJAlexander most plausible explanation of #Mizzou being cursed: Campus on Indian burial ground or deal with devil gone wrong?

I grew up in Emporia and at some point there was a big tornado that tore through a few neighborhoods on one side of the town. I remember a friend’s house, there was a huge piece slab of wood that got lodged into the front of their house and someone put a sign on it that said, “Yes, the other end is in our living room.”

Anyway, a few days later there was this story circulating that the area of town hit hardest used to be “owned” by Native Americans but they never built anything on it. When settlers came, they took over the land without much argument because the Native Americans called it “Land of Swirling Winds.”

I’m fairly certain the story is as real as Lennay Kekua, but for some reason I never forgot it.

Anyway, about Mizzou … yikes. It’s important to note that Frank Haith and his lawyer each said they haven’t received any notice from the NCAA, so for now all of this is still premature. But it’s also important to note that it’s never good when we start talking about “Frank Haith and his lawyer.”

From everything I understand, Mizzou athletics director Mike Alden was not given any warning about the investigation when he hired Haith. There is a reasonable case to be made that a more thorough vetting process would’ve better protected Alden, but none of us know the particulars of that and this is all hindsight. Basically, if this plays out like Jeff Goodman’s report indicates, Haith will likely be fired and Mizzou will be punished for something it legally could not have known or acted upon and had nothing to do with.

So, yeah. It’s easy to see how Mizzou fans feel cursed.

Recent blowouts at Mississippi and Florida aside, Haith has been good for MU basketball. Crushed before the hiring was even formally announced, he’s shown himself to be a very good coach, the kind who looks plainly capable of building a perennial top 20 program.

And then this.

Between Norfolk State and Laurence Bowers’ knee and Gary Pinkel’s arrest and an injury-riddled, bowl-less debut football season in the SEC it’s been a rotten go for the Tigers lately. The particulars of how this plays out are mostly unknown, at least to me, because I’m not sure anyone’s ever taken the show-cause penalty AFTER they’ve gone to another job. Would the NCAA try to work something out to minimize the impact for Mizzou? But how could they do that without creating a giant loophole for other coaches?

Whatever happens, if you’re a Mizzou fan, you’re probably expecting the worse. And you come by that skepticism honestly.

@prnutz It’s my birthday today. The best birthday present would be a K-State win over KU. What are the chances that happens? #TT

Well, happy birthday. And I’m saying 47.623 percent.

KU is a little better than I expected (legit top 5 or so, instead of top 10 or so) and the rest of the league is a little worse than I expected, so it seems entirely possible that the Jayhawks could go 16-2 or 17-1 in the league. Tonight, on paper, is their toughest game — at Oklahoma State on Feb. 20 would be next.

The Octagon of Doom — love that name, by the way — should be plenty live for what is now each school’s unquestioned conference rival. Rodney McGruder is playing up to his preseason All-Big 12 hype, and the Wildcats will again be one of the most physical teams KU plays.

KU is the only team in the league good enough to win in the kind of environment they’ll face tonight, but they’ve got to get out of this offensive funk.

@mstarks_710 what are your thoughts on being able to drink at work? #TT

This is a good litmus test, actually. If you can drink at work, you have a job. If you can’t, it’s a career.

Unless you’re Churchill.

?@iwearmomjeans Sam, I’m 33 yrs old. Will I ever see the Chiefs in the Super Bowl in my lifetime or my kid’s lifetime?

I mean, if the Arizona Cardinals made it…

@apocalypsedood talk about the #chiefs pursuing Flacco this offseason. no way the #ravens are letting him out of Balt w/o a deal, right? #tt

Yeah, Joe Flacco’s going to start getting enormous paychecks from the Ravens. If he’s paid like one of the best five quarterbacks, he’ll be overpaid, but it’s probably one of those spots where the team would have no choice.

The sports cliche is that Flacco is a guy you win with, not because of — sort of like David DeJesus, if you think about it — but he’s starting to challenge that thinking. This is two years in a row he’s outplayed Tom Brady in an AFC championship game in Foxborough.

You can’t create franchise quarterbacks out of rubbish, so drafting Geno Smith or whoever first overall wouldn’t give the Chiefs Andrew Luck or whatever, but I think what you see when you look around the NFL is that unless you catch the wave of circumstance that put Drew Brees in New Orleans, you’re much better off trying to find your quarterback in the draft than on someone else’s roster.

This is something we’ll all revisit a million times between now and April 25, I’m sure, talking many times about Alex Smith and Michael Vick.

@prildp will Chiefs trade down for extra picks??? There are no good top picks

Other teams are aware of that, too.

?@PmurcNosaj I have a gut feeling that we are going to regret the chiefs d coordinator hire.Just seems to have no real upside. #twittertuesday

Maybe. More coaches fail than succeed, of course. But if we just look at the logic behind the hire, I like it. Andy Reid went outside his circle of trust and found a guy who’s been successful with a 3-4 and likes to attack. Just making a surface judgment, that seems like a pretty good thing for a roster with Tamba Hali and Justin Houston.

@ScottToren I’m 30 and haven’t had a date in 4 years. any dating tips? #twittertuesday

Well, you clearly came to the right place. I’m nothing if not a dating expert. Here’s the only piece of advice you’ll ever need:

Make sure (s)he’s real.

@JaysonJenks Dear Sam, will KC ever get an NBA team? Sincerely, Sleepless in Seattle

As it turned out, the snake oil salesmen at AEG turned not only didn’t help Kansas City land an NBA/NHL team, they actually hindered the process because now the Sprint Center is five years old and a (at least slightly) less attractive spot.

The only way it’s going to happen is for someone filthy rich to buy a team and want to move it to Kansas City. That’s how Oklahoma City has the fighting Durants, and that’s how we’d get a team.

The chances of that happening are really small, though, because most of Kansas City’s filthy rich are involved in other things and have expressed no interest.

@ruby92879 is the atmosphere any friendlier to the press at Arrowhead since the change? Any immediate differences u have noticed?

Yeah, it’s a lot different. I never found Arrowhead to be a particularly unfriendly place, mind you. I’ve had my disagreements and arguments out there, of course, but it’s always been professional.

It’s just that now, it’s like a rain cloud went away. People are just in better moods. I can’t speak for anyone else, but it probably wasn’t awesome for people there to see the guy who was blasting them away every day in the city’s most-consumed media outlet. Now, it’s like a rest button was hit. Some of the people there who agreed with what I wrote now feel free to admit it, and some of the people who didn’t now feel free to forget.

But, of course, none of this really matters if the product on the field doesn’t improve.

@Wally389 can @renegadeskc get some Twitter Tuesday love?

Done. I’m a former Arena Football League beat writer, you know.

@canglem As an SKC season ticket holder, I do agree the Livestrong fiasco makes them look bad, but disagree it’s tarnished the brand.

That’s fair, but I’m not sure how much we disagree. It’s a bad look for a franchise that hasn’t had any bad looks, is the thing. It’s — by the team president and CEO’s own admission — a mistake for a team that hasn’t made any.

I don’t know of anyone who thinks the franchise is irreparably harmed, but it is a scar. What I want to see is how they react. If they’re like many sports franchises, they’ll act like it never happened and complain any time it’s brought up.

If they follow the playbook that’s gained them so much admiration, they’ll learn from it but continue an aggressive and outside-the-box approach.

@ericschneid what would cause Ned to lose his job this year? a slow start or a 2008 Milwaukee stall? #twittertuesday

I don’t know. I think it’s dangerous to go into a season with some preconceived notion about what has to happen, like, “a 10-20 start and he’s fired.” You just don’t know how it will play out.

But I do think the rules have changed with the Royals. No more building, no more patience, no more talk about today’s struggles leading to tomorrow’s successes. They’ve got to win.

@PowercatZac #TT @tullycorcoran is a salsa snob, “only eat homemade salsa.” Since we all don’t make salsa, what’s the best brand to buy?

I’m more of a food snob that I’d care to admit, and Tully is a friend, but if you live all of your days eating only homemade salsa … well, that’s no life for me^.

^ Guacamole is an entirely different story.

My salsa purchase is usually Socorro’s, but only the ones with cilantro, and typing this makes me a little sad that Annie’s Santa Fe doesn’t still sell its chips and salsa, sort of like KC Masterpiece still sells its sauce after its restaurants expired.

Also, Chili’s salsa is pretty good you guys.

@watchingu4000 since KCstar charges for on line content I stopped reading. Apparently can still access your column via Tweet! Sweet!

The intricacies of the paywall are decided on by people well above my pay-grade, but I’m told there are a few holes in the system. Also, you get like 15 free every month.

@kcjunk why doesnt kansas city/sprint center ever host a #ufc pay per view event?

It’s been a year or two, but I looked into this and was told Kansas City was in a group of cities that would almost certainly host an upcoming event, that it’s just a matter of deciding when. I’m not as into MMA as I once was, no real reason, but it’ll be fun when it happens. There are a lot of misconceptions people have about UFC.

@joshuarayvaughn Hunts have been getting props as an old-school top-3 NFL owner-family. Is there a young Hunt being groomed to follow Clark?

That narrative really took off, didn’t it? I’m not sure what it truly means, though. Are second- or third-generation ownerships the only ones eligible for the title? If so, it’s a pretty small group to begin with and being top three doesn’t mean all that much.

Look, I’ve been as positive as anyone about how Clark Hunt handled this offseason. I’ve always thought a lot of people have had dead-wrong perceptions of Hunt (and that most of that is his own fault). To me, he’s been a pretty good owner so far.

But I’d like to pump the brakes on grouping him with the Rooneys or Maras. Can we at least wait until they win a playoff game? Or go a few years without allowing a fan disconnect to fester to the point of organized fan protest?

@ClintT13 Would you be willing to waste your time & create a 64-team KC restaurant bracket for the blog by March? What are the No. 1 seeds?

Done.

@DBLesky Does the Harbaugh brothers angle get old by Wednesday of this week or Thursday? #TwitterTuesday

I think it gets old by two weeks ago.

@patronaut0709 #TT If I was not bartender Super Bowl Sunday, I would not be watching the game. Does that make me anti-American?

The fact that you’ll be bartending on Super Bowl Sunday means you are very much pro-American.

@Speck60 Thoughts on Ray Lewis? This act he puts on is nauseating and frankly, I think he’s a terrible person and probably a murderer. #TT

I think he’s been one of the NFL’s defining players for my entire adult life. I think he’s an over-the-top drama queen, amazingly self-righteous and self-promotional, a terrific football player and, yes, a man with a shady past.

What I think would help with Lewis is if all of us — media, fans, everyone — could do a better job separating praise for play with praise for character.

*@kent_swanson I work and live 5 minutes from Oklahoma Joe’s in Olathe. Am I lazy for just going to that location? *

The Jack Stack downtown is better than the one on the Plaza. The Gates on Brooklyn and Cleaver are way better than the one on State Line. The Bryant’s on Brooklyn is amazing, and the one at the Legends should be shut down or renamed “Famous Dave’s.”

But the Joe’s in Olathe and Leawood — and I’ve done my reporting on this — are both terrific. I rarely stray from the one in the gas station, but that’s just because I live a mile from there. The food’s no different. Follow your taste buds, young Jedi.

@KCebrann Sam, if you ever leave KC I want you to know, I have a particular set of skills. I WILL find you and I WILL read your articles.

Twitter is a weird place.

Comments

1. 

   Mark Peavy

   4 months ago

   Sam wrote: “But I do think the rules have changed with the Royals. No more building, no more patience, no more talk about today’s struggles leading to tomorrow’s successes. They’ve got to win.”

   Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah, now I remember. Dayton Moore officially proclaimed a change in the rules back on October 5, 2008. Here is his quote from the Star on that date:

   “That’s it,” he (i.e., Moore) says. “We’re at a point now where you will never, ever hear me say again that we have young players who are improving. You will never, ever hear me say again that we are rebuilding. That stuff is over. I’m sick of all that. We’re not a young team anymore. We’re not an improving team anymore. There are no more excuses. It’s not like we made a lot of excuses before, but I’m sick of all that. It’s time now.”

   Hopefully, the Royals will finally abide by the new rules.

2. 

   Mark Peavy

   4 months ago

   Sam, on another matter, you wrote in your column this morning that the turmoil surrounding Frank Haith “isn’t MU’s fault.” Certainly, MU should not be blamed for whatever Haith did or did not do at Miami.

   However, it is fair to analyze MU’s conduct once Haith became the MU coach. Specifically, MU issued a statement back in August 2011 that Haith “had no involvement with this Mr. Shapiro guy.” Of course, Haith had a great deal of involvement with Shapiro (e.g., numerous text messages between the two, dinners, visits to strip clubs, the $50,000 contribution to the basketball program). Did Haith not tell MU this back in August 2011? Or, if Haith did tell them, why didn’t the MU statement make clear that 1) there was substantial involvement between the two men but 2) that shouldn’t be interpreted to mean Haith had any knowledge of Shapiro’s misconduct? Until we get a clear explanation from MU as to how they felt justified issuing such a misleading statement, questions are going to persist as to how they have handled this mess.

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