Sam Mellinger

The Kansas City Star

LONDON — I think it’d be fun to be a thrower. Not the shot put as much as the others, particularly the javelin and hammer.

Nothing would beat being Usain Bolt, of course, because the title of World’s Fastest Man is just so badass. And being Lebron James wouldn’t suck, able to do literally anything on a basketball court.

But short of those superhuman endeavors, I think throwing is what I’d want to do. It just looks like those athletes have the most fun. Do you see it too? They’re all power and precision, putting everything they have into every throw, max effort, and when the javelin or hammer is in the air they get to scream the most joyous screams of the Olympics. They get to watch what they just threw fly through the air, impressed smiles on their faces. Pretty cool.

Anyway, I’m going to skip the food recommendation this week because there’s just no way to talk about a place in London without coming across like an a-hole.

Today’s columns are about women’s boxing and Lebron, hope you read them both.

So let’s just get to it, and as always, thanks for your help.

@RQB_ESQ if london is the horniest city you have been to, what is the least horny city you have been to? #tuesdaymailbag

I’d say McPherson.

@RoyalsFreeOut You’re writing too many columns & answering all my Olympics questions. So……have you been to a Pret a Manger? #TT #Croissants

Well, because I’m living in the future — spoiler alert: Bowe plays week 1, the Chiefs go 9-7, and Cassel does fine — I was able to hit up a Pret a Manger croissant before writing this. I’d been there twice before, but both times for lunch, including an absolute embarrassing episode where it took me a good 10 minutes to choose between mozzarella and pesto or ham and cheese or any number of the gross kinds of sandwiches — most of which include egg, all of which include TONS of mayo — that people eat here.

So, yes, I did go this morning and I must thank you, good sir. The croissant was delicious, of course, but more than that I appreciate that they served me a good cup of coffee. That’s it, just coffee. It is absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to get a good cup of coffee here. The Brits seem to have “coffee” confused with “milk and sugar and a splash of coffee.” It’s like everyone here drinks their coffee like they’re a high school cheerleader.

The other day, I tried two different local cafes — one of them, the guy was bragging up the coffee as the best in the world — before ending up at Starbucks.

But now I found another place. With delicious croissants. Can’t beat that.

@melbert331 #TT on your flight home from the Olympics would you rather sit next to talkative Fantasy football guy or talkative video game guy?

Either one would be an upgrade over the flight here. You guys know the international symbol for “don’t bother me,” right? Headphones. And you know the international symbol for “unless there’s a fire, don’t bother me,” right? Noise-cancelling headphones.

So I’m wearing noise-cancelling headphones on the plane, and this woman — dressed head to toe in Ohio State gear, I have to point out — across the aisle taps on my shoulder to ask me if the plane has internet access. I tell her no. She doesn’t believe me, hits her call button and asks a flight attendant. No internet access, she says. An hour or so later, she taps my shoulder again.

“Do you know what time it is in Ohio?”

I give her the time. Maybe another hour goes by, another tap on the shoulder.

“Will my cell phone work in Europe?”

I tell her it depends. She says her phone is 4G. I tell her that’s irrelevant, and begin to look for the hidden cameras. I forgot to mention that this woman had a screaming baby on the plane. Like, screaming. And an angry mother who kept cussing her out. They both asked the baby questions like, “What’s your problem???” when the baby was screaming. That didn’t help.

So to answer your question: I’ll take either, so long as they understand the international symbol for, “seriously, really? I’m trying to sleep over here.”

@rgoodwin5 #TT more impressive athlete: Usain Bolt or Tecmo Bo?

Tecmo Bo, for two reasons: Bolt gets tired (he talks constantly of how much he hates running the 400) and I don’t think he could toss NFL players in the air like Tecmo Bo. What I mean to tell you is, Bolt might be just as fast as Tecmo Bo, but I don’t think Bolt could kill an entire quarter running around a football field with nobody able to get him.

But I do think Bolt and Lebron are the two closest things ever not created by the fine folks at Tecmo.

@BrianMcGannon what sport(s) should be added to the Olympics?

Other than baseball, which got sliced in a Title 9 sort of move along with softball, I’m not sure there really is one. If anything, we could use dropping a few sports. I’m looking at you, racewalking. By definition, walking is not racing. And I’m looking at you, modern pentathlon. Not sure how you ever got in this thing with fencing, swimming, distance-running, pistol shooting and horse jumping, but the gig is up. We’re onto you.

Also, trampoline is not a sport, it’s a gimmick for The Man Show.

@jlmacn913 #twittertuesdays what’s your first meal when u touch back down in KC?

I’ve given this a lot of thought. My answer is wings at the Peanut. You might’ve thought I’d go Oklahoma Joe’s, but I’m thinking I might save that for the burnt ends on Wednesday. And Tank 7.

@jdplantinga How much of Cassel’s “progress” is a sales job? Do you buy it? #TwitterTuesday

I don’t buy it, and I assume we all understand I haven’t seen a second of training camp. I mean, I can believe that he’s better than a year ago, more prepared, whatever, but that should be true of every player in the league. Not only are they a year older, but there was no lockout.

If it makes Cassel or anyone else on the team feel better to hear the hype, fine. No harm there. But I can’t imagine many people are going to be optimistic until they see more of 2010 and less of 2011 (or 2009) from Cassel.

I could be wrong on this, but it feels like Cassel is painted as some up-and-coming player, that people still think of him as relatively inexperienced. But he’s 30. He’s been his team’s starting quarterback the last four years, and played enough that right-thinking football fans consider him somewhere between the 18th and 24th best quarterback in the league.

He can play his way above that, sure. But he’s gotta do it in games that count.

@GJAlexander how would you describe the job you do using only athlete cliches? #TwitterTuesday

Well, first of all I have to thank the good Lord for blessing me with good health and the conviction that this is what I wanted to do. Every day I wake up and just try to get better. I mean, if you want to call me a hero, fine. But I type with two hands just like everyone else. All I can do is take it one column or blog post or Tweet at a time and, god willing, do it again the next day.

You want to know what motivates me? I know that there are other writers out there with their laptops open and a lot of them are probably just looking at porn, but the ones who aren’t, they’re trying to get better. They’re coming after me, trying to take food off my table. I can’t have that. I WON’T have that. You want to come to my town and write a story? You gotta come through me. That’s just how I feel about it. Protect this house.

Look, you and I both know there are a lot of so-called experts out there who want to say I’m this or I’m that but all I’m concerned with is how my editor and those people in that newsroom feel. It’s never been about the money for me. I just want to leave my mark. Stay in school, kids.

@JaredSPalmer Any progress? “May be too early in the trip, but USA excluded, Mizzou/ksu/ku is which competing country and fan base? #TT”

This is still fluid, but…

Britain is KU (basketball). Very proud of themselves, and they want you to know it. Their guys can do no wrong, and when you’re in their building and the screaming comes out, you can’t help but feel like the performances are at least a little bit better.

Canada is K-State. They feel under-appreciated, but keep a mostly good sense of humor about it. Win or lose, they still booze.

Australia is Mizzou. This is the one I don’t feel as solid on, but the Aussies feel snakebit, and when their teams underperform expectation they tend to get angry and ask very pointed questions. They also have a LOT of fun. This analogy would work better if if they recently signed an agreement to merge economies with China.

@mmMOUF KC Pro, Roger Espinoza trends worldwide & plays himself into a likely multiple mill $ contract/EPL/La Liga. Better than a medal?

I would think so. I mean, it certainly is from a subjective standpoint. He got about as much out of the Olympic stage as you could ever hope for.

I’m actually not sure if he’ll be back in time, but if he is, he comes back to another important match with Sporting KC in the Lamar Hunt US Open Cup tomorrow. That’s a game I’d love to see in person.

@bmd473 What do you think happens first, we land a human on Mars or the Royals don’t embarrass KC? #twittertuesday

I still think this wave of talent will make the playoffs, and I still think it could be more than once. I am at least slightly less convinced of this than when I got on that plane, though.

Good for the Royals for making some major decisions and trying to get out of the spiral of the last month or so, but there is only so much deck-shuffling you can make. I do believe the offense will come along, but as long as the starting rotation doesn’t VASTLY improve, this is a can’t-make-chicken-salad situation. Most of us can remember the Sweeney-Dye-Damon-Beltran teams, right?

Right after wings and barbecue, this is all high on my to-do list when I get back.

@MikeZooLoo Coworker put a “Kick Me” note on my back. Got even putting a note on him that said, “Ask Me About Erectile Dysfunction.” #tt

I endorse this.

@JLenz24 dont really know how twitter tuesday works but.. Top 5 sporting Events youve been to?

This list is going to be goofy because of where I am right now. You need time to let things sink in, but for the purposes of this question I’m taking it as solely the “event” and not necessarily the outcome. In other words, I could think of 20 high school games that turned out to be incredible, but for our purposes here I’d put a dud Final Four game over an otherwise ordinary game that ended in a last-second three-pointer. Another way to look at it: what events I was most jacked to be at.

So:

1. The 100 meters the other night was just incredible. Coolest thing I could imagine.

2. The first day of the NCAA Basketball tournament with my friends in Vegas. There aren’t many bad parts of my job — transcribing tape and having to pretend I like Babb are two a VERY notable exceptions — but if I ever have to get a real job the best part will be that I can do this again.

3. Game Seven of the World Series. Baseball at its absolute best. You never know what will happen, only that you’ll remember it forever.

4. Women’s gymnastics team competition last week. This is the most likely to drop over time, but seeing what these girls are capable of and knowing the stories of what happened two nights before, it really was a special thing to see up close.

5. KU-MU last year. This is another one that might move down after time, especially since the game in Lawrence was so nuts,^ but that was as much as I can ever imagine looking forward to a regular season college basketball game.

^ I missed it, which sucked. But I watched it from Kauai with my smokeshow wife on our honeymoon, which did decidedly not suck.

@fightwookies4 Been out of the country for the last 10 days. Did I miss anything worthwhile, or has it been the same old Royals? #twittertuesday

Well, they’re certainly not the “same” old Royals. But they do apparently suck just as bad as when you (and I, for that matter) last saw them in person.

Probably would be a good thing if that’s not the last of the changes, though.

@prezmike25 What are the qualifications to be a MLB manager, is it just connections? According to Twitter everyone can do it. #TwitterTuesday

Well done, sir.

Look, I like Twitter as much as anyone. I consider it an important part of my job. And I know I get too caught up in it at times, but it’s important to remember this is just a small (though very vocal) segment of the world. Will Leitch wrote about this the other day.

It’s all part of the fun in sports, of course. You have an opinion. I have an opinion. We argue. Beats dealing with important stuff, it can bring people together, teach us lessons, all those things. But it also makes it really easy to lose perspective, to the point that not only am I writing here that most people really think they’d be better than most big league managers, but a whole mess of people reading right now are screaming BUT I AM BETTER!!!

@85royal Did Bavasi turn down a one on one Butler for Yuni trade years ago? If so I’d love to know how you know.

It’s been long enough now (five years or so) that I can’t remember for sure if it was straight up, but, yeah, that was basically the deal that the Mariners turned down.

Sources.

@Greg_Schaum saying u have had fish n chips outside of London is how close to saying u have had BBQ outside of KC?

It’s a very good comparison. I’ve actually only had one meal of fish and chips, found a place on Yelp that had good reviews, and it was fantastic. It really is different, like being used to frozen pizza and then eating Waldo. So flaky, and soft. And it’s fried, obviously, but the crust is thin and has a good taste and texture — not just a blanket of fat.

Really, it is like the difference between Kansas City barbecue and some awful place like Famous Dave’s.

@DanielSWesley ? for Tues: Yost said he expected to be over .500 this year. DM says the goal is ‘14. How do we explain this disconnect? #Royals

I think they both expected to be much better than this. Ned’s public expectations were slightly higher than what Dayton thought, but they’re in the same ballpark. A couple things are at work here. I think Dayton’s ‘13-‘14 talk is based more on when the homegrown guys will have enough experience to have bigger expectations, and Ned’s “phase two” talk is based more on taking a step toward Dayton’s ‘13-‘14 vision.

We’re talking semantics here, largely, but I don’t think it’s as big a disconnect as it seems on the surface. I also think both guys are extremely disappointed and frustrated with the disaster this season has become.

One other thing to keep in mind: there’s a baseball saying that it’s the manager’s job to think about the best, and it’s the GM’s job to plan for the worst.

@PacWestFish 1)Read “In the Heart of the Sea”-N Philbrick It’s greatest Non-Fic book ever written. 2) Do you read e-mails sent to KCStar addy?

I’m always in the market for a good book, so I’ll check that out. I’m almost done with The New Jim Crow, which is fascinating for a lot of reasons. I have Unbroken downloaded on my iPad for the flight home, and I’m very excited about that one, too. Maybe we should do an every-so-often book recommendation on here.

And, yes, I read every non-spam e-mail I get and respond to nearly all of them that I see. Important part of my job, I think.

@Speck60 Things are going really well without you here in KC. Any chance you’ll do us a favor and not come back? #TwitterTuesday

Nope. And if the manager of the downtown Peanut is reading this, my flight lands around 9:15 Monday night. Please have a batch of that delicious magic ready around 10. Thank you.

Comments

1. 

   Brian Orloff

   9 months, 1 week ago

   Sam, if you think you’ll be downtown at 10pm after landing at 9:15 you must not fly into KCI that much. It will take that long for your bags to travel the 100 feet from the plane to the claim area!

Sign in with Facebook to comment.