Sam Mellinger

The Kansas City Star

This Chiefs season has long since gone beyond the point of merely bad, merely disappointing, or even merely a fireable offense for general manager Scott Pioli and the second head coach he hired, Romeo Crennel.

It is now full-blown comedy, a 1-6 team that hasn’t led for a second, that has receivers dropping easy passes and punt returners whiffing easy catches and the coach needing a full day to come up with an embarrassingly weak excuse for his star running backs getting five carries.

So, hell, let’s just embrace it.

You want to blame Matt Cassel? Fine. Pioli? Sure. Clark Hunt? Sounds good.

You want to start Ricky Stanzi? Whatever. Trade Dwayne Bowe for Tim Tebow? Hell, at least it’d be interesting. Run a contest where the 12th caller or the guy with the closest guess on how many jelly beans are in that fish tank gets to coach a game?

Honestly, how much worse could it be?

At this point, all we have is comedy, waiting to find out when or if the men in charge get fired, and when or if the players visibly give up.

Oh, and did I mention that I got the following email?

“The girl I’m seeing wants to make a wager on the Chiefs/Chargers game, straight up, no point spread. If SD wins, I have to wear her pink, female cut, Shaun Phillips jersey and cutoffs to a sportsbook of her choosing on Sunday. If the Chiefs win, she agrees to do “Fun Stuff” while wearing a garter belt, heels, pigtails and my Derrick Thomas jersey. Despite the long odds, I have to make this bet, right?”

I include this only to point out that, yes, the Chiefs are still playing for something.

This week’s reading recommendation is one of the best ever, a link with what the fine folks at Esquire think are the seven greatest stories they’ve ever run in their pages, a lineup so stacked it doesn’t have room for Chris Jones’ amazing The Things That Carried Him.

This week’s food recommendation is Moonshine for Breakfast at Nica’s 320, and while you’re there, you might as well eat it with the bacon bloody mary.

Anyway, thoughts are with those in Sandy’s path. Let’s get to it here and as always, thanks for your help.

@EricHe1091 How about Bill Snyder for coach of the chiefs next season!

What did he ever do to you?

@CoachBmatney its a sad day when opposing teams, especially the Raiders, are saying to the press they enjoy coming to Arrowhead #firepioli

Well, yeah. This goes on the short list of embarrassing for this season, right up there with Cassel fumbling the snap at the goal line, fans flying banners, Romeo repeatedly saying “I don’t know,” and Eric Winston’s misguided rant.

But, then, this season turned a while back, for me all the way back to week 2, when Ryan Fitzpatrick looked like a good quarterback and the Bills looked like a good team.

Let’s review, for prosperity’s sake, the Chiefs’ opponents so far…

Atlanta: one of the NFL’s best teams, no shame here.

Buffalo: beat the Chiefs by 18. Other wins are against the Browns and Cardinals (in overtime). Lost to the Jets by 20, Patriots by 24, 49ers by 42, and Titans by one.

New Orleans: off-field issues have turned it into one of the most lost (lost-est?) franchises in recent NFL history. Currently 2-5 with the worst defense in football.

San Diego: also dysfunctional, with a coach and general manager very much on the hot seat. The Chargers have beat the Raiders, Titans and Chiefs. They just lost to the Browns.

Baltimore: one of the NFL’s best teams, no shame here. This was the Chiefs’ best game.

Tampa Bay: the Bucs had lost 12 of their last 13 before beating the Chiefs by 28 points. That’s Tampa’s biggest margin of victory since 2007.

Oakland: ranked in the bottom five of most so-called power polls coming into Arrowhead, which has become something like a spa weekend for the Raiders where they come to refresh. The Raiders are now 3-4, but that includes an overtime win against the Jaguars. So really, they’re like 2.5-4.5.

@KCBoyDust Why not go after Vince Young. He can’t me much worse right? #twittertuesday

Oh, hell. Why not. Whatever.

@jlmacn913 #TT minimum you want in a Dwayne Bowe trade?

I’m going to be higher than most, because the Chiefs have the money and I don’t want to see their offense without Bowe.

The Chiefs are a complete wreck, a “sickening” and “disgusting” bunch of players who are certainly not gladiators, but this is not the 2008 Lions. The Chiefs have good players, enough talent they shouldn’t be nearly this bad. This is still a young roster, and it shouldn’t be blown up just for the sake of blowing it up.

In the NFL, quarterbacks and head coaches are disproportionately important and the Chiefs are in the bottom three of both.

But, in a strange way, blowing through the schedule like this might help take care of both problems. It’s hard to see Romeo surviving a wreck like this, and a wreck like this might put the Chiefs high enough in the draft to improve at quarterback.

I don’t know. Maybe that’s the Kansas City in me, just searching for something positive.

@morelandj How do I become sports agnostic? Is there a precedent for successfully abandoning all loyalties? And just enjoying “sport?”

Actually, some of my friends would say I’ve become a sports agnostic. I know this isn’t the forum for anything much deeper than fart jokes, but I do think most of us here are good about keeping things in perspective.

Sure, it’d be more fun if the Chiefs were good. Or if the Royals didn’t give us depressing stats like “first back-to-back seasons with 70 or more wins since 1996.”

But they’re still games, right? Still fun, right? Beats working, right?

Right?

Guys?

/goes to get more coffee/

@mitchopkins Let me rephrase it. Should Oregon, ND, & KState all go undefeated, is one of their resumes REALLY better, or just an excuse? #TT

There are still some factors that need to play out, and in the undefeated scenario, each school would have a terrific case.

Oregon is ahead of the others in the human polls, which might drag the computers along for the ride. Their scores are just outrageous, AVERAGING 53 points per game, most of it in the first half before they shut it down. And going undefeated would mean wins at USC and Oregon State, and against Stanford — plus the Pac-12 championship game. Their case is hurt, perhaps slightly, by USC and Oregon State losing this past weekend.

Notre Dame is Notre Dame, and as much as it sucks, that matters. Their undefeated would include wins over Michigan, Michigan State, Stanford, USC and Oklahoma. Speaking of the Sooners, as Blair Kerkhoff pointed out the other day, OU didn’t help K-State at all because in a sport where style points matter, ND’s win in Norman looks more impressive than K-State’s.

K-State is second in the BCS, which is a tempestuous minx. But as much as is deservedly made of Oregon’s offense, K-State is fifth in the country in scoring and has now put up more than fifty in back-to-back games against ranked opponents. On the season, they’ve gone over 50 four times against major college opponents (three if you don’t count Kansas). Their undefeated would be a romp through the nation’s deepest and most balanced conference, and their case would include having the likely Heisman Trophy winner and national coach of the year.

People whose job it is to study in the insides and outs of the BCS seem to generally agree that Oregon will top K-State in the formula.

This is all a long way of saying, no, there’s no empirical way to say one of these teams is better than the others. If there are three or more undefeated teams from major conferences (or Notre Dame), someone’s getting hosed.

Signs are pointing toward K-State, but that scenario is still a few weeks from playing out.

Or, we could do this topic like so…

@KSUwildcat311 Is the best way for K-state to make it to the NC game is Oregon losing a game?

Yes.

@georgewrighster do you think K state is one of the 2 best teams in the country?

I haven’t watched enough of Oregon to say with any credibility (shut up). What I do know for absolute certain is that if there’s an undefeated team left out of the national title game, I can make a terrific case that they got screwed.

In other words, nice going, college football.

@kent_swanson Should I expect a grand gesture from 1 Arrowhead Dr. to entice me back as a STH?

The business side of the Chiefs is very interesting right now. They were apparently selling standing-room only tickets for the Raiders game, as you know, and there were still bunches of empty seats. Now, this happens to some degree at every game in every stadium, but this is also a sign that people who’ve already paid money for tickets are just staying home. That’s no bueno.

It’s also a bad sign for games during the time of year that are traditionally hard to sell anyway — particularly the Bengals Nov. 18, Panthers Dec. 2 and Colts Dec. 23.

@jlmacn913 #TT it is @kcchiefs luck they get the #1 overall pick and there is no clear cut elite QB in draft huh?

Absolutely. This is the way of Kansas City, actually. The Royals’ only No. 1 overall pick came when they needed pitching in a draft where the first four pitchers taken were, ahem, Luke Hochevar, Greg Reynolds, Brad Lincoln and Brandon Morrow. They picked second when David Price went first.

The Chiefs are just following protocol here, in their third decade without drafting a quarterback in the first round and they’re headed for a top pick one year AFTER Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III are taken.

That’s the storyline you’ll see come up more and more as we go along, that the Chiefs are in an awfully awkward position in being so starved for a quarterback in a context that might offer the equivalent of celery.

But, I don’t know, guys. If the Chiefs have a chance to get Matt Barkley, they gotta do it.

@bmalcolm88 2012 Chiefs are the worst NFL team EVER, right? #twittertuesday

Any self-respecting Lions fan is offended by this question. The Chiefs ruined their argument by cashing in on that fluke in New Orleans, but they can win dishonorable recognition if they go the rest of the season without having a lead. Heck, even if they just went the entire season without having a lead in the second half, that’d be something.

@haroldb21 is it just me, or does romeo sound like he don’t know whats going on…?

Well, it’s not just you.

@JMArnsmeyer How often do you consider referring KC area sports fans to a counselor? #catharsis

The important thing, friends, is to laugh together and not cry alone.

@aksouthard In the SEC… Where do you think Mizzou’s strip club credit card bill ranks? Middle of the pack? #Twitter Tuesday

Certainly ahead of Vanderbilt, but after that it’s a race to the top.

@Antilokhos Am I a bad fan for rooting for the Chiefs to go the entire season without holding a lead? It’s the only way to be sure…

Oh, right, well, in that answer above I forgot to include this in sad signs about the Chiefs season: they’ve not only turned SOME longtime loyal fans against them, they’ve also turned well-intentioned fans into rooting for losses to either improve draft stock or force change or both.

Guys, just take a step back for a second and appreciate the history we’re all witnessing. This is a dump of generational proportions.

@rgoodwin5 #TT Volstad pickup, Guthrie FA, and Dayton’s comments going into a loaded Pitcher FA market. O/U on Fire Dayton column Dec. 1st?

Dayton didn’t do himself any favors the other day, for sure. It’s a horrible look for a franchise that absolutely needs to give their fans something to hold onto. Actually, I saw the article on a Friday night or else I’d have broken out my PR 101 blog template to help Dayton out.

Here’s what I can tell you: if the Royals putter through this offseason, of course they’re going to get blasted in the paper. But I also think their best shot at acquiring a frontline pitcher is through a trade, not free agency, so I’m willing to wait and see what happens before firing off something prematurely.

@Eric_Clarkson Has Kansas City reached the tipping point where we’re no longer a BBQ town… but just a crappy sports town? #EarlyTwitter2sday

Gross.

@mojieMike who wins 1st? #Chiefs, KUFB, or #Royals?

Make it stop.

@mblaze524 I was born in may of 91, is there any chance that the royals decline is all my fault?

And you also realize the Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game since you were two years old, right?

@gavinesq #TT question: what other sports streak of suck compares to this “no lead in regulation” thing the #Chiefs have going right now?

Northwestern never making the NCAA basketball tournament is right up there, and then of course there’s the Cubs going a full 104 years (and counting) without a championship. But this lead thing is a different flavor of suck, more in the moment than big picture, more calculated with a stopwatch than a calendar.

What’s remarkable about it is the consistency, you know? It’s easy to overlook it, but the Chiefs essentially have to suck from kickoff to final whistle. There can be no letdown in their suck, because if they make a big play at the wrong time — ESPECIALLY early — they might get a lead.

This is just relentless, tenacious, every-down, no-snaps-off suck.

@DavidMKorth do you think the failures of both the Chiefs and Royals have overshadowed how successful Sporting KC has been?

No. Not at all. If anything it’s accentuated it, because the standards in this town are so ridiculously low that a franchise making back-to-back playoff appearances is the gold standard.

I mean, look. You guys know where I stand on Sporting KC. I’m working on more this week. But they are still significantly behind the Chiefs and Royals in terms of local, mainstream importance. That’s changing a bit, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Whatever the Chiefs do is going to overshadow Sporting, good or bad.

@themattgalloway I’m not angry anymore. I’m not even laughing. I just feel dead and empty inside. Almost comatose. Which stage is that? #chiefs

“Now, on that, I’m not exactly sure.” — Romeo.

Comments

No comments have been posted. Perhaps you'd like to be the first?

Sign in with Facebook to comment.