Sam Mellinger

The Kansas City Star

NEW ORLEANS — I guess I understand the corporate desire to move big events around, to entice growth around the country by touring championship events. But if the world was just, major sports leagues would hold most every major even here.

You can go to San Diego, I guess. Lots of people love Miami, even if it’s not my thing. But that’s pretty much the list. I think Bill Simmons was the first to loudly champion this thinking, and it’s dead true. You want good weather, walkable bars and restaurants, and a culture that embraces parties and events.

Can’t do better than New Orleans.

Absolute packed week, of course, so let’s just get started. This week’s reading recommendation is Tom Junod’s Theater of Pain in Esquire, a fresh take on a subject that’s written about a whole bunch — including my Sunday column, which highlighted a rare bit of hope.

This week’s eating recommendation is the pad thai at Thai Place, but I’ll also take a second here to mention the Cannelloni at Osteria Il Centro as an excuse to shoot down a rumor that they’re moving. I’d heard that from a few people, but got that mess cleared up over the weekend. Phew.

Anyway, as always, thanks for your help and for reading.

@The_Logg write your own articles… #TT

That’s just not going to happen.

@patronaut0709 #TwitterTuesday Are you real, or are you just catfishing us?

Well, I do sometimes think I have a fake job. But I’m as real as it gets. I keep it 100, if the kids still say that.

@BrianSchmid1 do you think Matt Cassel watches the Super Bowl?

I know this is set up on a tee to make a Matt Cassel joke, and I respect what you’ve done here, but those days are over for me. Cassel is a good man, and he almost certainly has played his last game for the Chiefs.

So please allow me to hijack your question and say I don’t believe any NFL player who says he doesn’t watch the Super Bowl. I just don’t. Not a one of ‘em. I understand that they put their minds and bodies (too often literally) on the line for this sport, and that when a season ends too early it can be hard to take. But you don’t watch the Super Bowl? I just don’t believe it.

I might listen to someone who takes off for Tahiti or something like that to get away. Maybe a pro football player can remove himself from normal American life enough not to be dragged into the Super Bowl, but if they’re in the continental 48, I’m calling shenanigans.

They’re watching.

@EdBartel What’s your all time favorite Super Bowl commercial (non Mean Joe Green division)?

To me, nothing will beat the Bud Bowl. That was the first commercial that made me realize that Super Bowl ads were A Thing, and the first time I can remember the people I was watching the game with actively talking about the ads as much as the game.

That was a huge thing when it happened, Budweiser putting a lot of money and time and reputation into making it work. At least that’s how I remember it.

While we’re on the topic of commercials … could we cool it with the “Look How Stupid Men Are” meme? I mean, I’m not arguing the overall hypothesis here, but it seems like most every commercial — especially the ones for beer — have been pounding this for years.

@PhillyChi81 I guess you can only write so many stories on the Harbaugh’s.

Is that a challenge?

@RQB_ESQ did the media forget that Ray Lewis was indicted for murder until the playoffs this year? #mailbag

No, but his announced retirement — essentially an invitation for the attention he’s obviously comfortable with — sure gave the media an opening to drive that point into the internet.

I believe my credential for the game — no lie, the only instructions they give you is to not take a picture of said credential and tweet it out — lawfully requires me to write about Ray Lewis so, you know, more coming.

@flsku I’m going to pick up and freeze wings from Peanut and chili from Dixon’s for SB Party. Any other suggestions?

Well, I’m not sure what you’re going for here but if it’s gluttony you’ve come to the right place. Oklahoma Joe’s is closed on Sundays, so you’re out of luck there, but go get some sausage from LC’s, burnt ends from Gates, and everything from Bryant’s. Burgers from Westport Flea Market. Chicken nachos from Austin’s. Pie from Pizza 51. Tacos from Patron. I could go on.

Work it off on Monday.

@KyleDuxbury What positions on the Super Bowl teams do you think the chiefs are better at if any? #tt

I would take Jamaal Charles over either team’s running back, Justin Houston over any of the outside linebackers^, and Brandon Flowers over the corners. After that, well, no.

^ UPDATE: This was a silly oversight. Aldon Smith is the man.

@jlmacn913 #TT That Nara place on Main Street is awesome. Your thoughts?

I think it’s good, but not close to my favorite. I actually like the place across the street, Tannin. But if you’re looking for sushi, Jun’s is where you want to be. The atmosphere is really bland — I usually do takeout — but the food is stupid good.

@NDRoyalsFan #TT if you had to give up BBQ or beer for rest of your life…which do you choose?

First of all, I hate your hell-ish hypothetical world you’ve created. All I’m saying is that if you can come up with this, I’m worried about your pets.

But to answer your question…I’d give up…crap…this sucks…barbecue. I can still pig out on burritos or burgers or nachos or whatever, but I don’t want a lifetime of having to go to whiskey for a buzz.

@brentbeats You have a roll of quarters. You have to spend them on the best arcade games from your youth. Which ones are they, and why? #TT

First of all, thank you. That earlier guy could learn a thing or two here.

I’ve given this a lot of thought. Too much thought, really. And I’m operating under a couple of premises: except for some Madden battles in college, I mostly stopped playing video games in high school. Also, I’m assuming that Tecmo Bowl — the REAL Tecmo Bowl — never made it to an arcade machine, because I can’t remember one. Same with Excitebike.

Now, I am going to consider Pop-A-Shot an arcade game. So I’m going to blow half the roll on Pop-A-Shot, 40 percent on Galaga, and the rest on Super Mario Brothers.

Pop-A-Shot because it is the greatest game ever, and those quarters go fairly quick so I’m going to devote a chunk of my bankroll there. Galaga gives you a certain glorious nerdy high once you start cruising through levels, and I want to make sure I’m able to channel my inner 8-year-old, and let’s be honest, I don’t need a lot of quarters to wear out that Mario machine.

@KyleDuxbury What are your odds of the three local schools winning the NCAA bball title? #twittertuesday

Kansas: 8/1.

Missouri 20/1.

K-State 35/1.

But the way Vegas does it, they always screw you on odds. So maybe shave off like 15 percent on each of those?

@JBaileykc What’s your take on the value of “good clubhouse guys” Seems way overvalued to me if they’re also bad at the sport. #Frejada #TT

I’ve written about this a few times and, basically, yeah. We agree. I do think the Royals have exceptional clubhouse chemistry right now, probably the best since I’ve covered them. I also think that doesn’t much matter, that it’s one of those things we tend to credit when a team wins and blame when it doesn’t like it’s a college spring break trip or something.

@Tscrutch what’s the over/under on how many times you will be mistaken for a female and offered beads this week? #twittertuesday

Well, “Travis,” actually I got a haircut somewhat recently so I’m not much more likely to be mistaken for a 14-year-old boy.

So there.

@TheNumber65 #TwitterTuesday o/u 4.5 years til Bill Self is coaching an NBA team?

I’ve never known what to think about this. I guess I’m looking at this in a very parochial way, but I’m not sure why he’d leave. He has such a good thing going, so much capital and goodwill built up in and around Lawrence. I suppose there’s always the possibility of something like boredom, and an NBA team — the Thunder, someday perhaps? — offering him so much money he can’t turn it down but he’s also a rich man where he is.

I don’t know. Like I say, I’ve never known what to think about this. But I’m not sure why so many people seem to think it’s an automatic that he leaves.

@BrandanKC A lot of NFL draft talk recently. Is it quarterback or bust for you? #TT

I’ll say it every time I’m asked: I don’t care how they find a quarterback, they just have to find a quarterback. If their scouts think they can get a guy just as good in the second round, or a better one in a trade or free agency, the great. Do that. But they have to get a quarterback. Have to. There is no other option.

@kent_swanson After watching the Bo documentary, I’m partially glad I wasn’t old enough to have that career taken from my fanhood.

I’ve mentioned this on here a few times, but Bo was the athlete of my youth and I wouldn’t trade it. It sucked when he got hurt, one of the first kicks to the man region I took from sports, but to be able to see him come of age when I had the wide-eyed fandom of a junior high kid helped define what I love about sports.

I know that took a quick turn for the cheesy, but it’s true. I don’t think there will ever be someone like him, and I’m glad I got to see it happen.

@BobbyCave What does the Marcum deal say about Moore, Santana, etc.?

It’s all confirmation bias. If you think Marcum is a good pitcher, then you think this is another example of the Royals screwing up, of letting a local kid go to the Mets for less than Hochevar will make and what the hell?

But if you’re like me, and frightened about Marcum trying to get major league hitters out with a fastball that screeched to a halt last season, then you might think it’s better to take a chance on Hochevar because at least he’s healthy. As Pete Grathoff points out, Hochevar had a 2.21 ERA in half his starts last season.

If your medical information is that Marcum is on fumes, it makes sense to take a pass — for Santana, for Hochevar, for anyone.

@justprego what’s the best high school sporting event you ever covered? #TT

If I’m understanding your question, it’s the Kansas big-class basketball tournament. The arena in Emporia is just the perfect size, and the setup has this sort of endearing awkwardness, with the stage on the one side and hard walls that make every scream and chant echo throughout the place. The crowd is right there on top of the court, too. Can’t beat it for atmosphere.

Also worth mentioning is the Missouri wrestling tournament, or at least it was when it was at Hearnes. I haven’t been since they moved it. And last place is pretty much any track meet. Sorry.

@WIJustin Sam, how would you improve the Pro Bowl? #TwitterTuesday

This would imply that I’ve watched the Pro Bowl, like, ever. I haven’t, and I mean that literally. But I would say this: as much as people like to make fun of it, it still does pretty big TV ratings, even as those numbers slide. We Americans can’t get enough football, even if it’s an exhibition game where the participants openly talk about not wanting to play.

@Eichelburgler After #SF and #Ravens lost last year the belief was that game manager offenses can’t make the Super Bowl. Is that still the case?

I think, basically, yes. With the caveat that there are no absolute rules here, I do think a quarterback whose primary job is to not lose the game is a rotten way to try to win games. Joe Flacco has a big arm and played terrifically in the playoffs, even as I think the rush to crown him as an elite quarterback is silly.

As for Kaepernick, I know it’s early, but he’s looked awfully good. Nothing game manager about that guy.

?@CU_Roo #twittertuesday would you rather fight 100 duck size horses or 1 horse size duck? It’s for science

Twitter is a weird place, you guys.

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