Sam Mellinger

The Kansas City Star

This Chiefs team really is something. They are 1-8, building a case against Jacksonville as the worst team in the NFL, finally took a lead for the first time all season in game 9 … and they did with the swagger of Pitbull.

Like I wrote in the column, this is the cockiest terrible team in NFL history.

When a friend saw that, by the way, he texted that it must be like a team full of Emil Browns.

Which is just perfect.

Anyway, let’s get to it. This week’s food recommendation is the wing dip and chili I’m making tonight^, and the reading recommendation is Greg Bishop’s story on Luther Campbell, the old 2 Live Crew frontman who’s now coaching one of the best defenses in Florida high school football.

^ I’ll drop some recipes here tomorrow if anyone’s interested.

As always, thanks for your help.

@gavinesq #Twitter Tuesday Question: They still suck, right? No matter what happens from this point forward, they still suck, don’t they?

Well, yeah.

@patronaut0709 #TwitterTuesday How hungover am I on Tuesday after watching the #Chiefs get demolished by the #Steelers?

Got a lot of this yesterday, when we were all^ assuming the Steelers would trounce the Chiefs but the NFL is full of crazy outcomes. The Chiefs’ defense continues to be the most likely way for a win, but it’s not going to matter much as long as the quarterback does things like complete 11 of 26 passes and throw the game-ending interception.

^ And by “we all,” I really mean “you all.” Your boy picked the Steelers to win by four.

The Chiefs finally got their lead, and there won’t be a game the rest of the season with as much inherent drama as them playing against Todd Haley so the most interesting thing from here on out really is the job status of Romeo Crennel and Scott Pioli.

There are rumors about their firings every day, it seems, but at least as of this writing they’re still employed and a vocal portion of the fan base is still ticked off enough about it that they’re planning to fly a banner over rush hour traffic on Friday morning.

@SKCBensa What is your guess as to the ratio of chiefs fans who threaten not to watch any more and those who actually follow through on it?

I’m just spit-balling here, but 75,000 to 12.

I really don’t think there are many people who are just cutting the Chiefs out of their lives, forever, never to come back. Of course your interest can come and go. Maybe you’re more likely to do errands this Sunday afternoon than in years past, but I really don’t think people are just giving up the Chiefs cold turkey.

The only thing more ridiculous is talk about how there’s this widespread apathy. I can’t tell you how many screaming voicemails or emails I get telling me how much fans don’t care, messages that go on for paragraphs and paragraphs telling me with such passion and anger about how they just no longer care.

It’s OK to care about something that ticks you off like this.

Sports are awful and wonderful like that.

@ApexToApex No pressing questions this week. I do think you should join my tailgate party on Sunday for some whiskey, beer, food, and grins.

I’d love to, but despite how it might read in the paper sometimes, I never drink while working.

And actually, this Sunday in particular is going to be a doozy. I’m set to be in Waco for what amounts to K-State’s national championship quarterfinal on Saturday night. My flight back to Kansas City is scheduled to land around 11:30, so I’m going to be rushing into Arrowhead (hopefully) shortly after kickoff.

Speaking of…

@JamesKLight conventional wisdom says small market teams make for bad ratings but KState - OR for the title would be far from it, right? #TT

I don’t know what the ratings would be, and not only do I not care but I don’t understand why anyone else who doesn’t work for a TV network or major advertiser would care. The biggest ratings would’ve been for an Alabama-Notre Dame game — two historical powers with huge, national fanbases, etc. — but I’m sure Oregon and K-State would do a good number as well.

You’d have (probably) the Heisman winner and another finalist, and, at least in my estimation, two of the best three or four coaches in the country.

If people in other places don’t want to watch, fine. But I think they’d be missing the most intriguing championship game in some time.

@free_ryan I’m 22 years old. What are the highest accomplishments the chiefs/royals will receive in my lifetime?

Well, without knowing your family medical history and how well you take care of yourself — fruits and vegetables, Ryan — I think the Chiefs and Royals will both win championships in your lifetime.

Seriously.

I’m crazy like that.

@jwfergie24 #TT who’s your dream GM/HC combo for KC next year?

Again, guys. I’m not much interested in open speculation while Crennel and Pioli are still employed. Just doesn’t make much sense.

But, you know, Vincent Newsome and Omar Khan would be good places to start on the GM. And I’d let them hire the coach.

@kramer152 You’re a wad-cake is going in the insult vault

Yeah, I’ve been called a lot of names but that one’s pretty … good?

By the way, for those who know what we’re talking about here, Crazy Anonymous Voicemail Guy is cheating on me. He called Teicher, too. Even called him a worthless (sex act).

I feel used.

@EricHe1091 TT: If Sam Mellinger was named the new GM of the chiefs (God help us if this happens), his first move would be__.

I’d make Teicher tell me one nice thing every day before agreeing to an interview. And then I’d do everything in my power to make sure we got the best quarterback available.

@kent_swanson No joke “Jalil Brown has a little groin” is my text notification on my phone.

Noted.

@KevinJW1 Silver lining to Chiefs’ suck: “home of the chiefs” is inaudible at Allen Fieldhouse. Is this Pioli’s crowning achievement?

Early favorite for Most Kansas City Question Of The Week.

@bigredrayjay who has more losses..2012 Chiefs or 2013 Royals opening day starter? Life as a 32 year long KC sports fan…seasons end early

Damn.

That’s the quickest anyone’s ever been beaten for Most Kansas City Question Of The Week.

@fesscalade Odds Kansas City gets an NBA or NHL team in the next 5 years?

This is only an estimate, of course, but I don’t think I’m more than a few hundredths off: 0.0000000000000000001 percent.

It’s just not happening. We don’t have a local owner,^ and that’s really all that matters. AEG was supposed to be the one, but they’ve long since turned into a deadbeat for Kansas City. But, like they’d say, we might not have the chance to get “Batman Live” three straight nights in the Sprint Center if we had a stupid NBA or NHL team taking up all the dates.

*^ David Stern (and, presumably, by extension: Adam Silver) doesn’t want a team in Kansas City, and I can’t find anyone who can convince me the NHL is coming. The Cerner guys have the means and chops, but they don’t like the financials of either league and have full schedules as it is with their business and the soccer team.

Speaking of, I know a lot of people assume the Cerner guys will buy the Royals if/when David Glass sells but I’m not as sure. Robb Heineman told 810 a few months ago they’d be interested in at least listening, but I’ve since heard conflicting stances on this within Sporting’s power structure. And keep in mind Robb’s is a minority share; Neal Patterson and Cliff Illig are the ones with more of the money and power.*

@patronaut0709 #TwitterTuesday When #KState beats #Oregon in #NCG, will the Ducks fans finally stop complaining about how we “backed” out?

Well, I thought that whole thing was already cleared up — that people who cared now understood nobody backed out.

I suppose it makes for a fun talking point at the bar or whatever, except that it’s just not true.

Now, that being said, Bill Snyder absolutely would NEVER have wanted to play that game.

@tompl81 which school’s fan base has the bigger melt down if left out of the title game, ND or #KState? Assuming everyone wins out. #TT

Notre Dame fans would unleash an extended line of apocalyptic holier-than-thou whining the likes of which we just don’t often see in sports. K-State fans would uncork an insane string of victim complex and anger at The Man the likes of which we just don’t often see in sports.

Either way, it would be a show.

But — like I’ve been trying to tell you guys — K-State is just not getting left out.

Believe it.

@aubreyleiter This Mizzou basketball team has so much talent and depth. Predictions for the season? Chances of them beating UK in the SEC? #TT

I think they’re going to be fine. Very athletic, Alex Oriakhi will give some muscle in the middle, Mike Dixon (whenever he’s playing again) can score in bunches, I LOVE Laurence Bowers’ game, and Phil Pressey is the best point guard in the league.

The SEC looks like a very top-heavy basketball league, dominated by Kentucky, Florida and Missouri. We all assume Kentucky is just going to be a sequel of last season, but I’m not as sure. Missouri has a chance to win the league, sure.

@T_Kohn Looks like Bill Self has his work cut out for him. Who will step up for the team because Johnson looks underwhelming #tt

If you’re looking for someone to get all freaked out about Self or KU basketball, you’re looking in the wrong place. Of course KU needs to get better. But so does every other team in the country.

I don’t know what kind of season Johnson will have. I could see a wide range for him. But Ben McLemore’s going to score, Jeff Withey’s going to change games defensively, and Perry Ellis might turn into a star.

@EricHe1091 TT: if you had to choose one royals player most likely to be traded for pitching, who would it be?

This might surprise you, but I’ll go with Eric Hosmer. Teams will ask about Wil Myers and Alex Gordon and others, and the Royals should listen to serious offers on anyone, but Hosmer will be a change-of-scenery candidate in a lot of teams’ eyes and guys like Billy Butler and (to a lesser degree) Gordon are significantly more valuable to the Royals than other teams.

But, again. EVERYONE should at least be up for conversation.

@mitchopkins How should I plan my weekend in Miami the weekend of January 4th/5th/6th? #TT

Well, I assume I’ll see you out. I’ll be the guy with the ridiculous haircut, perhaps smoking a cigar, trying to get Kerkhoff to buy me a taco.

@Jon__Higgins Does Lance cutting ties with Livestrong help #SKC’s decision?

I alluded to this the other day, but yeah. I think so. Sporting just wants to know their brand won’t be diminished, and that Livestrong can continue to be a powerful voice in the fight against cancer without Armstrong.

It’s important to note that even Nike, when it dropped Armstrong as a spokesman, kept its relationship with Livestrong. I believe Livestrong’s funding is actually up, a fact you can make of whatever you will.

But yeah, I do think it helps if those other things are in place.

@rock_hawk Hey wad cake, do you think you are the sole reason for destroying Sporting’s season? #FindingAnExcuseToUseWadCake

A while back, I wrote a story about how Kansas City sports were cursed by the ginormous shuttlecocks in front of the Nelson-Atkins. The idea — jokingly posited by Kansas City Museum director Christopher Leitch — was that the shuttlecocks somehow stole the cosmic energy that had been focused on the Truman Sports Complex and moved it closer to the Plaza and Crossroads art district.

Here’s the story. Loved the stuff from Dwayne Bowe.

@burban77 if you could pull a Tuberville and slug one past or present coworker on live TV, who would it be? #twitttertuesday

Babb. Obviously.

@shelbythomas This latest Bond flick kind of bored me. #TwitterTuesday

I’ve never gotten into the Bond movies, but I will tell you this — if there was a man named James Bond he would win every election in England. The Brits LOVE Bond, even more than they love mayonnaise.

@tgroce11 After the comment about a guy wanting to eat your face, I am scared for your life Sammy. #goals

I appreciate your support.

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